Rest and Cadbury Eggs

Someone told me recently that they thought all of these experiences were probably meant to be growing experiences for me.  And I completely agree with this wise person (Allison!).  I've learned more about myself in the past three months than I was expecting.  In fact, I wasn't really expecting that there would be a personal emotional component to this year long challenge.  Of course, I expected to be motivated and inspired emotionally by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and the fact that I can relate every $ raised to my Uncle Pat or another family member or a co-worker or another blood cancer fighter. 

But I didn't think I would be such a mess sometimes!  And most of you know that I pride myself on NOT being a mess.  So, maybe it is a growth experience in that I have to get comfortable in not being comfortable. 

I have wonderful friends, family and co-workers who are constantly telling me that they are proud of me.  And I could not do this without them.  But I recently told a friend of mine that I wish I was more proud of myself.  So sad to be so mean.  So...after all this negativity from myself, I decided it was time for some rest.

Last week, I did nothing.  And it was glorious.  I'm sure that I shouldn't have taken THAT much time off, but I allowed myself what I thought was the 'indulgence' of not running.  And I forced myself to not feel guilty over it.  I ate two Cadbury Eggs.  And a pizza.  And I drank beer.  And ate more pizza.  I read two books.  Again...GLORIOUS.  But a funny thing happened along the rest week...I got antsy.  I wanted to run.  I wanted to sprint. 

This is a special moment in every runner's heart.  When you realize that the running is a part of you and that it is something you want, not something that should be checked off your to-do list.  While the rest week was wonderful, it served its purpose.  I'm ready to rock and roll.  Ready to conquer the 2nd quarter of this year long challenge.  I might be a mess again in a couple of weeks, but I'm going to get comfortable in being uncomfortable and its nothing that some love and a cadbury egg can't fix!

March - DC Half Marathon

Where to begin?  I'd been having anxiety about this race for the entire week beforehand.  Nothing serious, but just a few bad dreams and an underlying feeling of uneasiness.  I couldn't put my finger on it, but I decided that it was the metro that was daunting me.  Just that overall uneasiness of how transportation to the race was going to go.  I was assured by ALL that it would be fine.

We got on the metro an hour and a half before the race started for a 'normally' half hour ride.  This ride turned into a full hour and a half, with us getting to the Race start Metro station at 7:54am.  Oh, by the way, the race started at 8am.  This was a huge race with over 30 corrals and over 30,000 participants.  I am really not a stressful type of person and was still feeling pretty laid back.  I knew that my race would start when I stepped across the start line.

I found my friend Alicia and we got into a corral. Unfortunately, it was corral 27 .  I was slated to be in corral 20.  But, no worries.  Still laid back.  We hung out as the massive crowd shuffled forward for about half a mile until the race started!  Still feeling laid back.  Alicia had warned me that she could probably do an 11 min mile for a couple of miles before needing to walk.  And I knew that at some point, we would have that awkward conversation of whether or not I should go without her.  But in that moment (still laid back), I figured I would enjoy the race and not worry about my time. 

Although, let's be honest here.  I've gotten downright competitive with myself.  Not only competitive, but kind of mean to myself.  We'll revert back to this comment in a minute.

At mile four, my laid back facade crumbled as I saw that we were with the 2:45 pace group.  My heart fell, I knew I wanted to finish this race in under 2:22.  I just wanted to do better than my last race.  The awkward 'do I stay or do I go?' dance occurred and in the end, Alicia slapped me on my ass (seriously, twice!) and sent me on my way.  It amazes me that these awkward race moments can happen where a friend literally abandons another friend and somehow you still love each other at the end.  But as a friend recently reminded me...'Running is not a team sport'.  Although, it is extremely hard for me to swallow that pill, it is a lesson I have repeatedly learned.

For the next couple of miles of the race, I sped up to a sub 10min mile pace, desperately trying to get back into the land of the 10min milers.  All the while bobbing and weaving amongst those that were walking up hills, running 3 abreast and just generally slower.  It isn't their fault.  It is completely mine, as I started in the wrong corral.  They were exactly where they should have been.  I was that crazy runner going faster than everyone.  And I personally want to slap that 'runner' when I see them.  There was even a moment where I accidentally stepped on a runners back foot.  I apologized profusely and repeatedly as she glared at me like I was Satan's spawn.  It was a hectic race pace, I probably ran an extra half mile just going side to side trying to get around people.  It wasn't fun.  I don't remember the scenery.  This is the moment where I will tell you that if you are running in a race that has over 15,000 folks, be sure to get in your correct corral.

At mile 8, I caught up to my brethren and settled into a 10min mile pace.  I was on target to meeting my under 2:22 goal.  This went well for about a mile.  And then fate threw me an unexpected poo covered curve ball.  My fairly new ipod touch started going crazy like it was possessed by head revolving Regan from the Exorcist.  Every 5 sec, the robotic woman would come on and announce the name of the song and band, then the song would fast forward about a minute, play for a bit, robotic bitch would come back on and announce it again and then it would shuffle songs and playlists.  This electronic demonic possession went on from mile 9 until mile 11.  I tried everything to fix it.  I turned it off.  I turned it on.  I changed playlists.  I put it away for a while and tried to run without music.  Every time I leaned over the ipod touch to fix it, my sweat would land on it and make the 'touch' part completely useless.  Finally, I just had to devote 5 precious minutes to fix it, but I had to walk in order to figure it out.  As I scrolled through the settings, I found that somehow the 'Shake to Shuffle' setting was on. Every time I 'shook', the ipod would shuffle.   Keep in mind that I am RUNNING!!!!   WHAT THE *#$% APPLE???

After mile 11, I was just tired and frankly pretty ticked off.  Honestly, I almost started crying a few times.  It was a long 2 miles from there.  I pride myself on a few things.  Every race, I sprint the finish.  I did not sprint the finish this race.  I shuffled across at 2:24 feeling pretty dejected.  I went through the finishers line like a zombie.  I didn't even care about what they were handing out.  I got my medal, I wandered through thousands of people cursing every person in my way just trying to find the 'K' sign where I was to meet my husband. Eventually, we all met up again and drank a few beers, I tried to lighten up and enjoy a post race glow.  We left the post race party and went to the metro, which was closed.  We went to the bus station close by but no buses were running because the streets were closed.  Then we walked two miles to Union Station and eventually got home.  I can't say that my head was held high.

This was obviously not a great race.  And I was really hoping that it would be.  I put a lot of pressure on myself that this would be a good race.  I'm angry at myself that it was not.  I've now had 3 consecutive 'not stellar' races and I'm upset about it. 


The part of me that is mean to myself wants to beat myself up.  There is a part of me that wants to give up.  There is a part of me that says it will never get any better.  There is a part of me that says I'll never raise that $12,000 for LLS.   There is a part of me that tells me I will fail. 

Then there is the part of me that is the very foundation of who I am.  A fighter.  Someone strong.  Someone who never gives up.  Someone who fights for others when they cannot.  Someone loyal. Someone who can succeed.  This is the bigger part of me.  
This is the part of me that will do this all over again next month.

Let's hear it for the BOYS!!

I'm two weeks out from my next half marathon, the DC Rock N Roll, which is on March 17th!!  So this means it was a long run weekend.  My plan was to do 11-12 miles out at First Landing State park on Friday morning.  I'm lucky in that I work 9-10 hours a day and then I get to have every other Friday off.  So, this was my Friday off.  I wanted to knock out this long run fairly early Friday morning because I had planned to drive up to DC to visit my husband for the weekend.  Recently, I had a little safety discussion with my co-worker about running alone and she had gotten into my head.  I rarely run with my cell phone and although I have mace, I never run with it.  While First Landing is very safe, I knew I would be out there at a time where there would be less people than normal and it might not be as safe as other days.  So, I packed up my mace because who goes for a run on a Friday morning at 8am?  Well...I'll tell you who!

I have stumbled upon something magical in the Virginia Beach area.  As I started down the trail in my run, I noticed something beautiful and incredible.  Every minute or two, I would see a few hot Navy guys running back down the trail in my direction!  There were probably about 30 of these amazingly fit guys, all running at different paces, all coming back from their run, all running in my direction... so I had QUITE the view!!  It was a parade of eye candy!  And every single one of these guys gave a smile, a head nod or a slight wave to me.  Manners and looks, oh my!  After the first 20 of them and 4 miles into my run, I literally started giggling and probably had a bit of a 'cat ate the canary' smile on my face.    But I have never felt safer or more entertained on a long run!! 

I know, I know....YOU ARE MARRIED Megan.  Yes, I know.  Obviously, I've told this story to Dave or I wouldn't be writing it!  Dave is in the Navy as well and is in extremely good shape also.  I'm just going to say that if some girl was out running... and seeing Dave running towards her put a big smile on her face, then I'd be perfectly ok with that!  Sometimes on these long runs, you just have to pick up your head, look around and enjoy whatever scenery God gives you!

Run the Reagan - February Half

Overall, my February Half Marathon 'Run the Reagan' in Atlanta, GA went well!!  This was a small race, so there aren't many photos of me, I apologize for not having many photos to put on this blog entry.

As many of you know, I was concerned about the elevation profiles and I had reason to be worried.  I went into this race thinking that I would look at it as two races: the first 9 miles and then the last 4 miles.  And I think this was a good tactic overall.  One thing I had a hard time with was settling on a goal for this race.  I wavered between a few....
1) Run all the hills no matter what and walk some in between if needed
2) Run the entire time
3) Just do better than my previous race in Auburn

I think the fact that I hadn't settled on a goal really messed with my head.  But by mile 10, I had run all the hills and had run the entire time and was actually on my way to a personal record!!  Not too shabby!  But then the uphill portion of the race descended upon me with a thud and my goals went out the window.  So, the question is... Did I make those hills my bitch?  Well, yes and no.  The rolling hills that had killed me in Auburn were easy during this race but the two long uphills for all of miles 10-12.5 really took it out of me.  I had to walk up a portion of them both.  And then I was just plain tired and had to walk/run.  So, there goes both goals #1 and #2.  And I went ahead and pushed for #3, which was easily accomplished!  Yea!!

I'm not a big fan of sharing my finishing time because of the judgement that surrounds it.  I remember reading in a magazine about Katie Holmes running a marathon and her time was pretty slow.  And I judged her.  Sure, she's richer, prettier, skinnier and married to Maverick, but at least I'm faster (not by much, but still...)!!  And then I remembered that anyone running a marathon is amazing.  But I still judged her pretty harshly.  So, out of fear of folks judging me, you'll notice that I don't talk about my times much. 

Honestly, I'm not a time person.  I'm not ruled by the clock.  I'm not ruled by a pace.  I know what my PR is for a half but have no idea what it is for a 5K or a 10K.  I try to rule myself by the 'Just Finish and have Fun!' mentality.   But after doing the last 2 half marathons (yet 10 total halfs and 2 fulls) and planning to do 10 more over the next 10mos, I'm starting to get a little ruled by the clock!  I want to be faster!  I want to push harder! Yikes!

So, here it is.  I'm going to come clean.  Feel free to judge.  But be sure to go run a hilly half marathon before you judge too harshly!   I ran a 2:22 for the Run the Reagan.  I'm not going to say what Auburn was because between the conditions and the hills, it was tough.  But lets just say I did much better for February.  My PR is 2:15.  I'm hoping to beat it sometime over the next year.  I think I can.  I'm definitely getting stronger and I'm getting faster.  So, I'll continue to be honest and let you know how it goes!

DC Rock N Roll is March!  Looking forward to it!

Making Hills Your Bitch

Back in November after the Puerto Rico Half Marathon, I promised myself and the World that I would start looking at Elevation profiles for Races.  I'm kind of wishing that I hadn't promised this, because now I'm obsessed.  I don't like hills, seriously, I hate them.  The only way I can get through them is to constantly think 'I'm going to make this hill my bitch'!  Sometimes that works, most times I get made the 'Bitch'.

This is the elevation profile for the Mercedes half marathon in Birmingham, Alabama.  Notice the 249 ft gain.  I've done this half quite a few times and there is a long huge hill that starts at mile 4 and ends around mile 8. My friend Jenfer and I always make this hill our bitch.  We get to the top where a Marching Band greets us and it might as well be playing Eye of the Tiger, cause that's what I'm hearing!  I want to jump around and shout 'Adrianne!!!'.  In fact, we run this half marathon knowing we will always run the hills.  Walking is for the flat areas.  We get all high and mighty and scoff at the walkers as we run by on hills. 

Hills aren't the only thing that can make me their bitch....Karma can also make me her bitch.

Here is the Puerto Rico Half Marathon,   190ft of Gain, which I believe means the sum of all the hills elevation.  Looks pretty hilly right?  These hills made Me their Bitch.  And that's all I have to say about that!

Here is the Auburn Half Marathon.  223ft of Gain.  I'm sure you can imagine that if 190ft of gain in Puerto Rico killed me, then yes...the Auburn hills hurt worse.  Although, they look so demure, don't they?  Made the bitch once again.

And here is the race that I'm doing this coming weekend, Feb 18th.  The Run the Reagan in Atlanta.  272ft of Gain, the worst yet!!  Arrrgggggg.....I'm not doing myself any sort of favors lately, am I? 

But I like to sandwich the bad between the good, so I'll end on this elevation profile.  Above is the original 'Make this hill my Bitch' Hill and where my hill mantra was born.  It was leg 22 of the Hood to Coast relay race in 2008.  It is almost a 400ft gain in 1.5miles.  It scared me to death.  And the only way I knew how to conquer it was to come up with a new mantra, put my head down, blast Eye of the Tiger and run.  This hill will always be special to me, it is the first hill that I truly conquered.   And I was rewarded with an awesome downhill run through the beautiful woods of Oregon.  One of the best runs of my life.

Back to the task at hand.  THIS weekend.  I'm going to approach this race as two races.  The first 9 miles and then the 'other part'.  I'm going to think of how much I'll enjoy those first 9 miles and how wonderful they will be.  How calm and serene I will be...  And then once I get past mile 9, I'm going to start thinking about making that last huge 4 mile hill my bitch.  Wouldn't it be empowering to know that I ran all the way up that last hill?  Probably time to make sure 'Eye of the Tiger' is on my playlist.  I'm gonna need it!

Bradying

I rarely post something two days in a row.  Mainly because I can't imagine anyone would want to know what is going on in my life THAT much!  But, I realized last night that I rarely post about the physicality of my actual runs.   So, let me tell you about my run last night...

It was awful.  Every runner knows that sometimes you have that day where nothing lines up correctly.  It was a cold, windy, rainy dark night...I was running alone and I have been sick this week.  But every now and then, the consistent culprit of my 'awful' runs sneaks up on me with a vengeance.  And that culprit is my calves.  They seize up like rocks and every step is fairly painful.  I have to stop and stretch them almost every quarter of a mile until they finally loosen up at mile 2ish.  I've found a pretty sure fire way to prevent this and it is a combination of Yoga, Foam Rolling, Compression socks, Calf strengthening exercises, good nutrition and 2 Aleve!  None of which I did last night.  Oh, how arrogant I've become!

So, my calves threw a tantrum that rivaled that of a spoiled 4 year old in a toy store.  I guess I haven't been giving them enough attention lately.  Add in the fact that the environment was harsh and my mind was already in a crappy place.  I never give up.  But last night, I gave up at 2.5 miles and went home.  Hence the Bradying reference. 

Because if I could, I would have sat down in the middle of the road in my stylish running skirt/reflector jacket and Bradyed. 

Every runner has these days.  I've been lucky that they are few and far in between recently.  It is hard to overcome the fear that my next run will be similar to the last.  It is hard to not be angry that I didn't get in my 4 allotted miles.  The best I can do is accept some humility, thank my body for the 2.5 miles it gave me, make adjustments and try try try again.

Sick...and Tired

Let's get one thing straight, I'm not sick and tired of my 12in12in2012 challenge.  I'm just sick....and also tired.  The flu hit me this past weekend after a long 11.5 mile run and even though I had my flu shot, it still hit me fairly hard.  Enough to call in sick to work and then sleep A LOT.  Enough to want to sleep all day, every day.  And enough to feel it necessary to skip a few workouts.  And I mean 3 workouts.  1 run and 2 yoga sessions. But who's counting? 

I hate missing workouts and I hate being sick.  I was on a nice little routine last week... eating healthy, running in the mornings, getting it ALL done.  Being a champ.  A champ in complete control.  That sure felt good.  And now here I am in this week....eating crap, sick, missing workouts and not getting it done.  Life sure is frustrating sometimes.  Although I know it is unrealistic, I'd like to just blame the world for the injustice that is me getting sick and missing my workouts.  Fortunately for the World, I wasn't raised to blame my issues on anyone other than myself. And there are voices in my head that keep asking 'Isn't this your own fault somehow?'.

So, maybe it is my fault.  Maybe I should take more vitamins, maybe I should drink more water, maybe I should force a recovery day after a long run, maybe I shouldn't take so much on in general, maybe I shouldn't have been around my husband when he was sick, maybe maybe maybe...

But maybe life just throws us curve balls.  Almost everyday we receive a curve ball to the face with our name on it.  Some days we dodge it, some days it smacks us pretty cleanly.   I consider myself to have been smacked in the face the past few days.  While I'd like to go home tonight and take (yet another) nap, I'm going to go for a run instead.  It will most likely suck.  I'm not sure if my body is ready for it, but my mind is.  I'd like to salvage this week if possible before the next curve ball comes hurtling my way.