March - DC Half Marathon

Where to begin?  I'd been having anxiety about this race for the entire week beforehand.  Nothing serious, but just a few bad dreams and an underlying feeling of uneasiness.  I couldn't put my finger on it, but I decided that it was the metro that was daunting me.  Just that overall uneasiness of how transportation to the race was going to go.  I was assured by ALL that it would be fine.

We got on the metro an hour and a half before the race started for a 'normally' half hour ride.  This ride turned into a full hour and a half, with us getting to the Race start Metro station at 7:54am.  Oh, by the way, the race started at 8am.  This was a huge race with over 30 corrals and over 30,000 participants.  I am really not a stressful type of person and was still feeling pretty laid back.  I knew that my race would start when I stepped across the start line.

I found my friend Alicia and we got into a corral. Unfortunately, it was corral 27 .  I was slated to be in corral 20.  But, no worries.  Still laid back.  We hung out as the massive crowd shuffled forward for about half a mile until the race started!  Still feeling laid back.  Alicia had warned me that she could probably do an 11 min mile for a couple of miles before needing to walk.  And I knew that at some point, we would have that awkward conversation of whether or not I should go without her.  But in that moment (still laid back), I figured I would enjoy the race and not worry about my time. 

Although, let's be honest here.  I've gotten downright competitive with myself.  Not only competitive, but kind of mean to myself.  We'll revert back to this comment in a minute.

At mile four, my laid back facade crumbled as I saw that we were with the 2:45 pace group.  My heart fell, I knew I wanted to finish this race in under 2:22.  I just wanted to do better than my last race.  The awkward 'do I stay or do I go?' dance occurred and in the end, Alicia slapped me on my ass (seriously, twice!) and sent me on my way.  It amazes me that these awkward race moments can happen where a friend literally abandons another friend and somehow you still love each other at the end.  But as a friend recently reminded me...'Running is not a team sport'.  Although, it is extremely hard for me to swallow that pill, it is a lesson I have repeatedly learned.

For the next couple of miles of the race, I sped up to a sub 10min mile pace, desperately trying to get back into the land of the 10min milers.  All the while bobbing and weaving amongst those that were walking up hills, running 3 abreast and just generally slower.  It isn't their fault.  It is completely mine, as I started in the wrong corral.  They were exactly where they should have been.  I was that crazy runner going faster than everyone.  And I personally want to slap that 'runner' when I see them.  There was even a moment where I accidentally stepped on a runners back foot.  I apologized profusely and repeatedly as she glared at me like I was Satan's spawn.  It was a hectic race pace, I probably ran an extra half mile just going side to side trying to get around people.  It wasn't fun.  I don't remember the scenery.  This is the moment where I will tell you that if you are running in a race that has over 15,000 folks, be sure to get in your correct corral.

At mile 8, I caught up to my brethren and settled into a 10min mile pace.  I was on target to meeting my under 2:22 goal.  This went well for about a mile.  And then fate threw me an unexpected poo covered curve ball.  My fairly new ipod touch started going crazy like it was possessed by head revolving Regan from the Exorcist.  Every 5 sec, the robotic woman would come on and announce the name of the song and band, then the song would fast forward about a minute, play for a bit, robotic bitch would come back on and announce it again and then it would shuffle songs and playlists.  This electronic demonic possession went on from mile 9 until mile 11.  I tried everything to fix it.  I turned it off.  I turned it on.  I changed playlists.  I put it away for a while and tried to run without music.  Every time I leaned over the ipod touch to fix it, my sweat would land on it and make the 'touch' part completely useless.  Finally, I just had to devote 5 precious minutes to fix it, but I had to walk in order to figure it out.  As I scrolled through the settings, I found that somehow the 'Shake to Shuffle' setting was on. Every time I 'shook', the ipod would shuffle.   Keep in mind that I am RUNNING!!!!   WHAT THE *#$% APPLE???

After mile 11, I was just tired and frankly pretty ticked off.  Honestly, I almost started crying a few times.  It was a long 2 miles from there.  I pride myself on a few things.  Every race, I sprint the finish.  I did not sprint the finish this race.  I shuffled across at 2:24 feeling pretty dejected.  I went through the finishers line like a zombie.  I didn't even care about what they were handing out.  I got my medal, I wandered through thousands of people cursing every person in my way just trying to find the 'K' sign where I was to meet my husband. Eventually, we all met up again and drank a few beers, I tried to lighten up and enjoy a post race glow.  We left the post race party and went to the metro, which was closed.  We went to the bus station close by but no buses were running because the streets were closed.  Then we walked two miles to Union Station and eventually got home.  I can't say that my head was held high.

This was obviously not a great race.  And I was really hoping that it would be.  I put a lot of pressure on myself that this would be a good race.  I'm angry at myself that it was not.  I've now had 3 consecutive 'not stellar' races and I'm upset about it. 


The part of me that is mean to myself wants to beat myself up.  There is a part of me that wants to give up.  There is a part of me that says it will never get any better.  There is a part of me that says I'll never raise that $12,000 for LLS.   There is a part of me that tells me I will fail. 

Then there is the part of me that is the very foundation of who I am.  A fighter.  Someone strong.  Someone who never gives up.  Someone who fights for others when they cannot.  Someone loyal. Someone who can succeed.  This is the bigger part of me.  
This is the part of me that will do this all over again next month.