After finishing my 9th half marathon this weekend, I realized just how much Team in Training has been integral in helping me achieve my goals. I've been so thankful for the friendly faces and support. It has been an overwhelming feeling being a part of such an amazing Team. Although this past weekend's race, the VA Beach Rock N Roll, was not my last race for the year, it was my last race as a TNT participant for the year. And it was a little bittersweet. But I enjoyed every minute of it and didn't leave the sides of two of my favorite teammates, Kelly and Steven. Highlights of the race included seeing all of our coaches along the way and our cheer squads along the side of the road. When I remember this race in the future, I know I'll just remember the Team.
I had the amazing honor to give a speech at the Team in Training Inspiration dinner. The TNT participant speech is always important...it seems like that person always drives the point home as to why we do what we do with TNT. And obviously I was a little nervous. Even more nervous after realizing that I was going to follow John Bingham 'The Penguin'. He is an amazing speaker! Overall, I think my speech went well, although I looked out across the crowd to see somber faces that made me think I might have inadvertently killed someone's dog at some point in the speech. But let's be honest, we are talking about cancer...so it was kinda of a necessarily poignant speech.
Below is my speech for those of you that are interested!
Let’s get one thing straight before I truly delve into this speech. I’m not a good runner. And I’m proud to admit that I’m not a good runner. I slog away at a 10min mile pace and still have training runs that make me want to lie down in the middle of the street and question why I even try. Running is not natural to me and I’m not one of those runners that looks graceful and beautiful while effortlessly running an 8min mile pace. Not that there is anything wrong with that…I mean, kudos to ya’ll. I secretly curse you all but no…really… good for all you gazelles out there. But for the rest of us, I promise you that when I wake up tomorrow morning, I’ll have slept horribly through the night, I’ll be nervous about finishing and for the 9th time this year, I’ll take a deep breath, look at myself in the mirror and wonder …’Whose crazy idea was this?’.
And that crazy idea was for me was to decide to run a half marathon every single month this year while trying to raise $12,000 with for Team in Training and for the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society.
But when I first came up with the idea to run a half marathon every month, it was not completely met with enthusiasm from my family or friends. As, I’ve stated, I’m not the best runner and I knew better than anyone that this wasn’t going to be easy for me. My normally very supportive husband was extremely concerned about this challenge in the terms of time and monetary commitments and I could tell he initially didn’t want me to go down this path. He kept asking me to ‘really think about this’. My loving and actually very supportive Father emailed me and said ‘In this economy, you’d have better luck raising $1,200 instead of $12,000’ and my supervisor just looked at me and shook his and said ‘Uhhh uhh…no, that’s crazy’. All of these responses had me questioning myself and wondering if maybe I was truly crazy to do this. Maybe I was overreaching my capabilities. Maybe I shouldn’t do this?
But there are moments in your life when you truly know in your heart that your instincts and dreams are right… and you know that the path in front of you is the correct one, no matter what anyone else is saying to you. And this was one of those moments for me. The fact that some people didn’t fully believe in me only fueled my desire to go forward with my 12in12 half marathon challenge. And when I tentatively emailed Josh, our beloved TNT Campaign Manager, about my goal to run a half marathon every month and then actually sat down and chatted with him, I had that incredibly scary exhilarating moment where I realized there was no turning back. I was going to do this.
I knew this was going to be a tough year for me, full of challenges … and it has been. I could go on and on about my 8 different races from this year and the tough yet wonderful moments throughout each. I could tell you about my Nashville race when I was running for Uncle Pat… so proud to have his picture and name on my jersey… and at mile 12 after many hills and a lot of heat, I stopped to walk some because quite honestly, I was tired. And how at that moment one young lovely woman strode by and lovingly patted me and said ‘Don’t stop running, come on, Do it for Uncle Pat’ and it took everything in my power to smile at her not turn around and scream ‘YOU go do it for Uncle Pat’. Yes, I’ve definitely had a few interesting race moments this year.
But these weren’t my first races and I felt prepared for those type of race moments…what I wasn’t prepared for was the type of moments that I’d get from Team in Training. I wasn’t prepared to be a part of a family. I wasn’t prepared to truly be a part of a TEAM…. This amazing group of people willing to put a mission above themselves, to do more together than as individuals. And I’ve continued to be amazed by you all. I’ve been amazed by the constant fundraising…fundraising is hard. I think it is probably harder than the training. I’ve been amazed by the dedication and passion in all of you. I’ve been amazed when my mentor Steven decides to run 11 miles instead of his planned 6 just to ensure that his mentee runs her planned 11. I’m continually amazed that somehow Coach Bob and Coach Michelle continue to make us all feel like we are the most important people in the world. I’m amazed to always see Pat with a huge smile on his face on the trail, no matter the day. It has been an honor to be around people who dig deeper, push harder and never give up. If you have a sneaking suspicion that you might be rare and special, I have news for you…you are! Because of all of you, I’ve choked back tears on runs after hearing your mission moments; these incredible stories about your children, your parents, your spouses, your siblings, family and close friends that have fought this horrible disease. Remarkably, so many of them have won their battles due to the science enabled by your fundraising.
But we wouldn’t be here tonight and we wouldn’t be running 13 long miles tomorrow if there weren’t also the stories of those that we’ve lost. We wouldn’t run tomorrow if we weren’t still thinking of those we may yet lose.
I was not running for Team in Training in 2007 when my Uncle Pat was battling the hardest phases of his leukemia. Quite honestly, I was paralyzed by fear at the time. I had lost my brother to a non cancer related death a few years before and I was paralyzed with fear that I might lose someone else I love. So I was not running. I was not a part of this amazing group of people.
But I realize now that someone else out there was running. That person didn’t know my Uncle Pat, they didn’t know me. They didn’t know my cousins Anne, Patrick and John. They didn’t even know that they were running for my Uncle but they did. They ran for my Uncle, they ran for my family. They were pushing through their pain when our family felt helpless. And I’d like to thank that person. Wherever that person is. I’d like to thank that hero in purple that I’ll never know. Because of that unknown person’s determination and actions, my Uncle Pat is in remission. Because of my unknown hero, he’s met three grandchildren. That person is any one of us. It’s any one of you that have to courage to do something outside of your comfort zone, to know that you are on your correct path, no matter how many people tell you that you probably can’t do it, that you might fail. Yet you decided to do it anyway.
Tomorrow, I’ll be running my 9th half marathon this year and will have raised over $10,000 throughout the year for LLS. And everyone always asks me why I’m doing this crazy challenge this year… my short light hearted answer is ‘I do it for my Uncle Pat’ but the real answer is that I do it for someone else’s Uncle, someone else’s brother, someone else’s sister or child. I run with unknown names on my jersey and in my heart. I run for the friend, cousin, spouse, sibling or parent that might be paralyzed by the fear of losing someone they dearly love. I run because someone else ran for my family once. And like all of you that will be running tomorrow, I also run so one day, we won’t have to run anymore, I run for a cure.
