After I finished my San Diego race and got a new personal
record, my immediate thought was ‘Now what?’.
My secondary thought was ‘Megan, now you run another 6 half marathons,
like you’ve promised’ and my third thought was ‘But I don’t understand what I’m
aiming for?’. PR’s are probably like
weddings, you work really hard, get stupid excited about it, think everyone
really cares and when the big day finally comes and go, you are left feeling a
little anti climatic and confusedly wondering…what comes next?
But not only have I felt a little anti climatic, I’ve
felt downright entitled. Entitled to
what? Well, pretty much anything bad for
you…Candy, Pizza, beer, wine, liquor, tv, more candy, cake, jelly beans, too
much rest (not running) and the overall entitlement that I think I’m too
important to drink water. That last one
was rewarded with a Charlie horse muscle seizure wake up call from hell at 2am
where I lay clutching my left calf wondering if I was going to die and trying
to Lamaze breathe through it much like I envision what birthing a 13lb baby would
be like (not that I have any inkling but I’m trying to empathize).
I’ve immediately rectified the water situation by
realizing that a permanent state of dehydration is not comfortable, nor is it
desirable. So, I’ve been drinking
water. I still have been eating too much
sugar, evident by the Reeses Peanut Butter Cup wrapper in my trash can and the
look of disgust that my Captain had on his face when he came over to my cubicle
today. Maybe I had chocolate and peanut
butter smeared on my dress and I didn’t realize it?
I went for a little run and it hurt like hell, probably
due to the shriveled dehydrated state of my legs. And I haven’t gotten back on the road since. I’m feeling like a bit of a hot confused mess
if I’m honest with myself. It’s the
emotional equivalent of standing in the rain looking up at the sky in tattered
clothing and crying ‘WHAT NEXT? What am I supposed to dooooooooooo?’ while
shoving See’s candy in my mouth and then deciding to take a nap.
I told a fellow runner that I felt confused as to how to
run my next race. Do I take it
easy? Do I push even harder? Do I just
go with the flow? She very matter of
factly said ‘You just try to do better than the last time’. Easy for her to say, she hasn’t run 6 of
these already this year. I’m freaking
tired!
Originally, I had the taste of PR blood and wanted more,
wanted to go faster, but now I just want a really good night’s sleep (which
ironically probably won’t happen unless I go for a run!). So, what to do?
Well, I’m going to drink more water for starters. I’m going to try to cut back on the sweets
and increase the veggies. Then I’m going
to take a slight pain killer before my next run to lobotomy my body of my
previous run. And I’m going to give some
serious thought to my goal for Chicago. And I’m going to seriously remind
myself of my big goals…1)Raise $12,000 for LLS
2)Train consistently through 2012.
The PR was a nice byproduct of my big goals but I can’t allow myself to
feel done quite yet!!
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